Thankful...

Every year, right on schedule, tons of people start the month of November with their daily "Thankful" post.  Each day during the month they post what they're thankful for.  Some days you'll see the "big" things, like being thankful for their spouse, kids, family, health, etc., while other days it's more "trivial" things like hot coffee or heated seats in their car.

I've never really gotten on the "Thankful post" bandwagon, but reading these daily has made me reflective.  During different moments of the day I find my mind wandering to different things that I'm thankful for.  Instead of posting on Facebook I've decided to blog about some of the things, both big and trivial, that I'm thankful for.

These are in no particular order, so the 5th thing I list is not more important to me than the 10th...I'm just typing them!

1.  My husband, Jeff.  I can't even begin to start to list the reasons and ways that I'm thankful for him.  We have been married over 17 years.  Yes, there have been bad times in our marriage, but the good times outweigh the bad, easily.  Marriage isn't easy.  You have to work at it, and even after 17 years you need to remind yourself that it is work, and it's such worthy work.  I take him for granted, but lately I've been reminded that all relationships require some effort, so even if it's a simple kind gesture or word, you need to remind that person how deeply important they are to you.

2.  My kids, Drake and Avery.  From the time I was a young girl I knew I wanted to be a Mom someday, and I'm so glad that I have Drake and Avery in my life.  They amaze me and help me look at the world differently.  When things seem complicated or difficult, those kids and their actions remind me that sometimes you need to slow down, simplify, and focus on the things that are in front of you.  Watching them grow and helping them learn has honestly been a privilege.  I know the troublesome teenage years are coming, and I know we'll have conflict, but I hope they both know that even when we disagree, I love them with everything that I am.

3.  My life.  Yesterday I was reminded that I had been "self-employed" for the last 8 years.  I can't even believe it's been more than 8 years since I left my career at the university.  As I reflected on that time and what's changed in my life I had to take a moment to let it sink in how thankful I am for having that time.  I have been lucky to have a flexible work schedule that allowed me to devote a lot of time to my children, my husband, and myself.  I have been able to do volunteer work at the school, participate in field trips, and not worry if someone is sick and needs Mom to stay home with them.  As I type, a feverish Drake is laying on the couch, and I'm not concerned about having to turn in a sick day or worry about what plans will have to be made for tomorrow.  I can spend summers with my kids and work at the same time.  I have taken this for granted, but as I reflect on those 8 years, I am immensely grateful for the freedom that I have with my work schedule.

4.  My family.  The entire year of 2009 was so difficult, with losing Schuyler in Afghanistan in February and then my Mom passing away a few months later in July.  BUT...as difficult and upsetting as that entire year was, we were there for each other as a family.  And, I would say, we've come through those experiences even tighter-knit than before.  My Dad, brothers, niece, and cousins are all people that I feel incredibly close to and know I could turn to them in hard times, and I hope they all know that it works both ways.

5.  My friends.  First of all, I have a wonderful neighborhood.  If it truly "takes a village" then I'm so happy to live in the best village around!  We rely on one another and help each other out.  We look out for each others kids and even husbands when need be!  The thought of NOT living in this 'hood makes me very sad.  If the house burned down tonight, I think we'd be happier staying here in a tent than moving somewhere else.  Luckily, I am not only blessed with these wonderful "Wisteria Lane" gals, but I also have an amazing network of INCREDIBLE friends.  There's the gals I worked with at SIU...we may not see each other often, but when we do it is like no time at all has passed.  They are TRUE everlasting friends and I'm so thankful for them.  There's the Bunco Belles...what an amazing group of women these ladies are.  We get together monthly and laugh, eat, drink, and have a great time, which is a much-needed respite in the midst of all of our crazy lives.  There are the people I've met through True Adventures who have now become great friends...There are people I've met through my involvement with the school and school board...There are parents of my children's friends that I now count as a friend...There are "old friends" from my high school and college days.  Talk about TRUE everlasting friends!  Some of those ladies have seen me through some really rough days, and yet (most) don't hesitate to pick up the phone when they see my number on caller ID!  A sage bit of advice I will be sure to not only model but also voice to my own children is to surround yourself with GOOD, TRUE, EVERLASTING friends.  You will never be sorry at having too many TRUE friends.

6.  My iPhone.  Yeah, that's right...I said it.  I love that thing.  And Siri....ahhhh....we could be stranded on a desert island together and I think we'd be just fine.  You know, as long as the desert island had power so I could charge it up!  Seriously though, I do want to point out I am honestly thankful for that device.  I'm not just thankful for the BIG things in my life.  Sometimes it's the little things that help keep me organized, focused, and let me have a little fun that matter too!

That's not all I'm thankful for, but all I have time for right now.  Stay tuned for other items that I'm thankful for during the month of November.

...and then everything changed.

I think that everyone, at some point in their life, will remember a defining moment; that moment in time where everything changed, and from then on you thought of things in terms of "before" and "after" that defining moment.  This week (the irony of the timing is NOT lost on me) I watched as someone walked from "before" to "after" and I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and regret for him as I watched the exact moment happen.

Imagine, if you will, the moment JUST BEFORE you find out someone dear to your life has died.  You are happy, carefree, enjoying the day...just as you should be.  With a smile on your face, you get into the car, only to notice the anguish on your Mom's face.  It is there, in that moment that the car door closes and you notice her face, that you change from "before" to "after".  Then you hear the words that your Dad has died.  Your Dad, who you gave a cheerful "Goodbye" to just hours before as you headed off for school...and now, he's gone.

..."before" has become "after"...

I watched this moment unravel and felt a knot in my stomach.  In my mind, I could see my messy, cluttered home office.  I could see my scattered desk, and the screens attached to my computer.  I could hear the phone ring, and then Amber's voice choking out the words telling me that there had been an accident in Afghanistan and Schuyler was dead.

..."before" has become "after"...

I watched the car drive away, with passengers that were formerly wife and son, but who now were also widow and the kid whose Dad died too young.

..."before" has become "after"...

In my mind I then saw myself on our front steps...outside of the house so that my urge to scream didn't escape and wake a sleeping baby.  Guttural...that is the first time that word ever crossed my mind to describe a scream, but that is the kind of scream that welled up inside of me, fighting to escape.  The phone rang again and caller ID showed me that it was my Mom.  I hit the button to answer and tried to choke out "Hello" but something else came out.  I think it was part of the guttural scream lurking inside, but I quickly reined it in.  "You know....someone called" she said, through her own sobs.  Somehow I said that yes, I knew, and Jeff was on his way home, and I'd call her later.  We hung up and I lost it.

The pain of "after" seemed like it would never end, never lessen.  But, healing does happen, even in the most horrific of circumstances.  I have seen that and experienced that, so when someone close to my faces a loss, I tell them that it WILL get easier, and it WILL become less raw.  You WILL get to a place that talking about your person doesn't make you cry, and you can laugh about the great times you shared.  You can get there.  Now, that's not to say that there aren't times that you want to cry, or even scream.  You will, but the day-to-day perspective that you carry on the tragedy can make a world of difference in your healing.  

I don't "go" to that day, or the days that followed, often.  I prefer to go to the days on the beach, at the cabin, sitting around a fire pit and drinking a few beers.  I prefer to remember the smiles, not the tears.  I prefer to keep you a part of my life today and always, and to remember your smile, your dedication, your bravery, and your mischievousness.  I love to tell people about you...how you could charm the habit off of a nun (or the skirt off of the Bud-Light girl), how you loved to joke but were a very serious, very brave soldier.  I love to tell people how you LOVED deeply...you always said "Love you" when you ended a phone call or visit, and gave HUGE hugs.  I will never question that you loved your family or that you had any doubt how we felt about you.  You were here too short of a time, but the time we had was simply grand.

Today I share some of my favorite photos...enjoy!

Amber, Me, Schuyler - my graduation from Grad School

Schuyler fishing at a young age!

John, Sky, Amber, and I ~ all looking thrilled!

Looking happier this time, but look how much Amber looks like Avery now!

My awesome brother John, and Schuyler

Sky and Amber, dancing at Amber and Brandon's wedding

Ha ha ~ fishing at an older age!

Sky, me, and John on Mission Beach ~ San Diego

The last week....as a 30-something

This is the last week in my 30's.  On Saturday, February 11, I turn 40.

Forty

4-0

And you know what?  I'm totally ready for forty.  I'm comfortable with WHO I am, WHERE I am, and HOW I live.  So forty doesn't bother me.  I think Feisty and Forty describes me well!

I love my life.  Yeah, I wish I was 50 pounds lighter.  A convertible in the driveway, next to my minivan would be nice.  A beach house would be awesome.

But, right here, right now...I'm good with that too!  I have great friends and great family.  I wouldn't trade those folks for anything.  I know what makes me happy, and when I can spend time doing those things that make me happy that is wonderful.  Sometimes it seems like we're all just striving for that next thing that will make us happy.  I think you have to look around...there's plenty to be happy about right here, right now.

A blogger I follow wrote this the other day, and I think this is going to be my personal motto for my 40's...and quite possibly the rest of my life.

There is reason for everyone to be unhappy.  There is reason for everyone to be happy.  What's your focus?

I.  Love.  That.

If you're out there, randomly stumbled upon my blog, and happen to be thinking my life is all unicorns and rainbows...well, don't.  Read some of my posts from 2009.  I have seen plenty of sadness in my life.  But the real trick to a happy life is the perspective you give to not only the GOOD, but also the BAD in your life.  Your perspective on these instances in life can (and WILL, if you let them) define you.

My focus...I'm honing in on all of those reasons to be happy.

Choose happiness...

What Will YOU Leave?

I went to a funeral yesterday. A funeral for a beautiful woman, both inside and out. She was probably one of the most decent and genuinely GOOD people I had ever met. She cared about people and it showed.

One of the things that was read at her funeral were excerpts from an autobiography that she had written as part of her admission into a ministry program at her church. As I listened to her own words describing her I was just amazed.

How many of us are comfortable enough in our own skin to write about ourselves?

Really....how many? Not many, and for those that would, would they REALLY do themselves justice?

She wrote honestly, and she wasn't boastful, but she also didn't downplay her accomplishments in life. And it was simply beautiful.

We heard an excerpt yesterday, but her 5 children have the document in its entirety.

...and what a gift THAT is...

It made me think. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have an autobiography on my own Mom? That is something that I would honestly treasure. But, I know it is something that I can never have. Instead, perhaps it is something that I can GIVE. I can give my own kids that treasure. I can explain who I am to them, and as the years go on I can add to it. I can add to the story as my life progresses on.

I hope there are lots of chapters in the story of my life and I hope that at the end of my life my kids treasure those words as much as I know my friend treasures the tale of her own mother.

So think about it...what will YOU leave? We're all going to depart this world, and many people will leave many material possessions. But long after you're gone, what meaningful trail of your life is left behind? Is it in the art you created or the words you wrote? I know it seems silly to many to sit down and write about your own life, but give it a try.

Sit down and write about YOU. Tell people about what you've done and what you are like. Leave behind a meaningful account of your life, as you saw it.

Someone, someday will say "I'm so glad that we have this now".

Lori

Moms and Daughters

Sometimes when the thoughts are swirling around my head in mad chaos, the only way I can make sense of them is to type. So here I go.

Last evening, my dear friend Mickey lost her mom Mary to cancer. Mary was cool. She was just one of those Moms that you meet and secretly wish you had grown up in her house, if only for a short while. I wouldn't have traded my own childhood for all the tea in China, but you just knew that even a week in that house would've given you memories that would last a life time.

Like I said, Mary was cool. Even in typing that it just makes me smile. She was fun to be around. I loved it that she would attend our "Girls Weekend" and get right in there, drinking, eating, laughing, and sharing funny stories with the rest of us. It never failed...we could get her telling stories about any (and sometimes all) of her 6 kids. I really loved those stories...not just the stories, but the WAY she told them. I could just see these mischievious little stinkers getting into all of these crazy predicaments. I loved it when she told those stories.

There is no doubt in my mind...the world was a better place for having her here, and today the world is a bit sadder at her absence. But she left her mark on the world, and the awesome parts of her live on in her grown children.

Yesterday as I thought about Mickey and Mary and what their family was going through, I kept flashing back to the day my own Mom died. Losing your Mom is a sad, sad day indeed. A day that you can never forget, and a day that your entire world changes. I feel like we're way too young to be women without Moms. And sadly, more and more friends are joining those ranks. You often hear people comment that we're "getting to THAT age"...sometimes it seems applicable, but I don't feel like you're ever THAT age to be ready to lose your parent, especially your Mom.

I think as women we go through this strange thing, where even when we're the adult, there's still someone higher on the pecking order...your Mom. You know that you can ask for advice (even if half the time you ignore it) or always fall back on "well, Mom said....". I have participated in adulthood for many years now. I received 2 college degrees....got married at 23....had a couple of kids....bought and sold a couple of houses....and even started retirement accounts and bought life insurance. But nothing, and I really mean nothing, makes you feel like a full fledged adult like losing your Mom.

...and I don't mean that in a good way...

I'd much rather have Joan at the top of the ladder, ready to look down and give an opinion or offer a hand. But, she's gone, and so now I must truly be the adult.

So, to Mary I say, Thank You....I'm so glad our paths in life happened to cross and that I got to know you. You were cool (I'm smiling again). You were fun. You were hilarious. And most of all, you were a great wife, mother, grandmother and role model for those of us that knew you. I promise to help Mickey out as much as I can and I will tell Katrina and Clay funny stories about you. I won't keep those stories to myself, but will share them, because even though death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, love leaves memories that no one can steal. You will live on in those memories.

Godspeed, Mary...you were a great one.

As A Parent....

Last weekend tragedy stuck a local family. A 16 year old boy took his life, only 5 days before his 17th birthday. Let me be clear...I did NOT know this young man.

But his death has struck a chord within me and I can't seem to get him off my mind.

His step-mother and I share the same first and last name, and often have people get the two of us confused. I recently was introduced to her at the gym and we laughed about how people are always getting us mixed up. That introduction and the same name are my ONLY tie to this family.

And yet I can't get him off my mind.

This blog post is not intended to cast blame or responsibility on ANYONE. It is simply me getting my thoughts out.

Because of the same name, I received a few texts on Saturday morning. People were trying to determine if it was MY family that was dealing with the loss of a child. That's really when I started thinking.

I started thinking about how it scares the crap out of me that I am going to have a teenager in a few years....and how I realize how very quickly those "few" years are going to fly by. I then thought about how I was as a teen. And that's when it became clear to me....

As a teen, the things you experience and go through are VERY SIGNIFICANT to you. And as an adult, we often look at these teen problems and think "Oh, kid...if you only knew what REAL problems are". We forget that to them, at that point in their life, their problems are VERY real and VERY serious.

I think we get busy with our jobs, raising kids, making mortgage payment, helping ailing parents, and the rest of adult "life" that we forget how significant those teen problems/issues are when you're a teen. I thought back to the things that just completely set me off as a teenager....

They were really big and dramatic things to me at the time....like breaking up with a boyfriend....getting singled out from the group of friends and feeling like NOBODY cared....not having some material object that EVERYONE else had, and without it, my social life was surely over.....etc.

In my almost-40-year-old hindsight, those issues are so silly....so insignificant. But as parents, we HAVE to remember how incredibly significant and devistating they felt to US as a teen. Only then will we be better able to help our own children. I know I have downplayed problems that my own children have had, because as an ADULT I know that in a few days this issue or that problem will blow over and they'll be on to something else. BUT...I think that it is so very important to remember that downplaying our kids problems is not always the answer. We have to keep perspective that to them, at that point in their life, these problems are EVERYTHING.

Again, this blog post is in NO WAY casting the shadow of blame on ANYONE. I do not KNOW the family or what the situation was behind this young man's suicide. I just know that in thinking about the situation I felt like I had to make sure I was more aware of the seriousness of the problems our kids face. No, their problems aren't on the same level as job security, financial hardships, or any of the stressful situations many adults face. BUT...to a teen, at that point in their life, their problems are as stressful to them as adult problems are to adults. That is part of the way we learn.

We learn to navigate through life by dealing with issues and conflict...from the time we're very young until the day we die. Hopefully the tragedy that this family now faces will somehow help other parents to guide their own children. Hopefully we all will talk to our kids a bit more and listen even harder....hug them every day, and always make sure they know you love them.

9/11

I started this post before the 11th, but couldn't seem to find the right words to finish it. So, here it is; what I had to say about the anniversary of 9/11.

It seems like you can't go anywhere on the Internet these days without seeing someone's thoughts on 9/11. With the tenth anniversary looming on the horizon, people are talking....people are remembering.

Ten years...here are my thoughts on 9/11 as we approach the 10th anniversary.

Ten years ago I was a new Mom, trying to get some sleep and the phone kept ringing. Honestly, the phone was irritating me. It was my husband and I was irritated because the baby was finally sleeping so I was trying to get some sleep too. You see, the baby was a little over 3 weeks old, so Grandma had gone home and the hubby had gone back to work and I was on my own with the little man.

....and the phone kept ringing....

Argh...I finally figured that he wasn't going to stop calling over and over so I should answer. He said something to the effect of "turn on the tv...you have to see this". I relented and turned on the tv. I sat there for hours.

I sat there and held my new baby close and wondered what kind of world we had just brought this baby into. I sat there and watched.

I watched as the 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower. I watched as people jumped from the windows. I watched as people ran from the buildings. And I watched as the buildings crumbled.

I watched in disbelief.

I watched and I wondered...I wondered how this was going to change our world. I thought of that change in very broad terms, never really taking a minute to think that the events of that day would impact me and my family in a very direct way, albeit years later.

See, Schuyler was just a kid then. He had been here to meet his new cousin and do a little back-to-school clothes shopping with Grandma. He was a kid, getting ready to start another year of high school....to attend football games and go cruising with his friends.

And as I watched the events of that horrific day unfold, never did the thought cross my mind than in a little over 7 years, the events of 9/11 would directly impact my life and the lives of my entire family....

September 11th was really just the beginning of everything changing. It was that pivotal moment in history where my life changed. I didn't see the direct impact that day, but years later the direct impact was seen and felt.

Lots of people answered the call of duty on that day, 10 years ago. Firefighters, police, emergency responders, clergy, and many others rushed to help. They heard their own call of duty and went...

...thousands of others heard their call of duty and enlisted. One may have chose Army while his buddy chose Marines, but each heard their own call of duty and answered.

Boys on 9/11/2001 became men and enlisted to do their part to help. I remember a conversation that Schuyler and I had after his first tour was over. He did not have to go on the 2nd tour with his new unit because he had only recently returned. But he was going...he was volunteering to go on that 2nd tour. I couldn't understand why he would do that. We talked about it a lot and he explained that he was volunteering so that maybe another random person....a random person with a spouse and kids at home....might not have to go. He felt like he didn't have heavy responsiblities at home so it was the right thing for him to do to volunteer to go back.

He heard his own call of duty and he answered it.

And I think, in his own way, early in 2009, he knew the danger was getting closer. He knew that not only was it possible, but very probable that he would face that danger head on, and perhaps not live to tell that tale.

I watched coverage yesterday for an hour or so. I watched the children of 9/11....they progressed from infants to 9-10 year olds. Kids that never knew their Daddies. And as I saw them I thought of the two families who also lost a soldier on 2/24/2009, and how one family shares the same burden as those children of 9/11....a child that never knew his Daddy.

A day never goes by that I don't think about Schuyler or the Thompson, Stream, and Bunting families. We are united by a tragedy that none of us wanted to face. We remember and we hope others remember, because within that memory, they all live on.

Mother’s Day

I have read lots of blogs today, and I have to admit, it seems as if my thoughts on Mother’s Day aren’t “mainstream”.

See, I don’t really like Mother’s Day….I even kinda dread it a little. Two years ago our area suffered a big storm and so in a last-minute-let’s-get-outta-here decision, Jeff and I loaded up the kids and headed North…headed to my parents home to spend the weekend while our entire area was without electricity.

As strange luck would have it, no sooner than we pulled into my parents driveway I got a call from our neighbor that said the power had been restored to our neighborhood. (When we left, it sounded like it could be a week or so, so we were really shocked.)

But, we were there and we spent the weekend with my Mom, Dad, brother and family. It was a nice weekend….it was Mother’s Day….we were all together.

It was the last Mother’s Day I would spend with my Mom.

Because less than 2 months later, she died. She got sick very suddenly…she got worse even quicker, and in less than a week from “not feeling well” she was dead.

And so my issues with Mother’s Day began. I don’t hate Mother’s Day. Really. I don’t. But I don’t really like it all that much either. Mother’s Day is a reminder to me that I can be celebrated, but I have no Mom to celebrate. Now, I know that I can still “celebrate” my Mom even though she is no longer here to celebrate face-to-face. I understand that, but for me, that day is a reminder that she’s gone. She’s gone and I can’t call her up or send a cheesy card or take her to buy flowers to plant in her gardens.

I had a nice day yesterday, in spite of my distaste for it all. Drake made me breakfast in bed. Both kids presented me with awesome cards they had made themselves. Jeff had gotten me a new cover for my cell phone…purple! And then I spent the day planting in my own gardens while Jeff did some laundry and kept the kids alive. Drake and I went to see Thor in the afternoon and then we all met up again for sandwiches at Panera for dinner.

It was a nice day, and many times as I was digging in the dirt I was thinking about my own Mom and the times we shared. I know you’re not supposed to live your life with regrets, but I do regret that I can’t talk to her, hug her, or just see her face smile as she sees her loved ones.

Today is a new day and I’m going to try and push the regrets and sadness back to its spot and live happy. I am most thankful that my husband and kids sense that it’s a strange day for me and they give me the space to spend it in the ways that I need to in order to get through to the end of the day.

Never Forget

As another year passes I find myself reflecting more and more on the lives of four honorable men. I think about not only Schuyler Patch, but also of Dan Thompson, Scott Stream, and Brian (Bubba) Bunting. I think of them, the families they left behind to mourn their sacrifice, as well as the men and women they served shoulder to shoulder with on a daily basis.

And in thinking about their brothers and sisters in arms, I began to wonder…how are THEY doing? How are they coping as we approach the two year anniversary of their tragic deaths? Often the focus is on the biological family that a fallen soldier has left behind. But as we should never forget the sacrifice those fallen soldiers and their families have made, we also must not forget those men and women that came home.

Their pain and anger is as real as ours. Many of them were there the day the tragedy occurred. We cannot forget that they watched helplessly as their friends/brothers/comrades perished. They were there.

When I close my eyes and think to the day of February 24, 2009 I remember the call. I remember Amber’s voice and the disbelief in my mind. I remember wanting to scream. I remember contacting my husband; only saying “Sky’s dead…come home now” before running outside to cry (hoping to not wake up the sleeping baby). I remember my phone ringing and seeing my parents’ number…I answered with a choked “Hello” and my Mom said “OK…you know….do you want to talk now or later?”….I choked out “Later…I love you” and hung up. I could not speak….I could only sob and choke back my urge to scream.

And when I relive those memories I find myself wondering this year about the guys out there with them in that convoy. Do they relive that day in their head over and over? Do they have other days with similar tragedy they find in a looping reel through the depths of their mind? I hope not, but sadly, I would imagine that those images creep into their minds, as they do ours. To those brothers who were out there on 2/24/2009, I think of you today also, and the sacrifices that you made on the battlefields. I wish for you peace in your mind and good memories of your friends that will outweigh the tragedies that you have seen. Thank you for your service.

Two years. Two years and the effects of the loss are still fresh. Children are growing up without their Daddy. Wives are moving forward without their husbands at their side. Parents mourn the loss of their baby…their son…their child. A sister copes by making every effort that he is not forgotten. We all inch on, day by day, and try to find our new normal. And yet, the important thing is that we are inching on. Some days more so than others, but we are moving forward. We are living our lives. We are remembering not just the loved one we lost, but all 4 men. We remember them daily and think of their families often.

The loss has taught me many things, but most of all the loss has given me perspective in my life. The silly things that once stressed me out so much now are given the little attention they deserve. I know what is honestly important in my life now and those little things just have to wait. The loss of Schuyler from my life has reminded me that family is so incredibly important and that you’ll never be sorry for expressing your love for someone.

February is so hard…first Schuyler’s birthday on the 17th and then the day he died on the 24th. The 24th doesn’t just represent the 2-year anniversary of his death…it represents the starting of a pain that none of us ever anticipated knowing. It represents a shift in the path our lives would all take…not just for our Patch family, but for the Stream, Bunting, and Thompson families as well. This is a path none of us would’ve chosen for ourselves, and yet here we are. We are all navigating this path as we best can, knowing that what we’re doing is what we can do. Each of us navigate the path in our own way and hope that the others are doing as well or better than ourselves.

So once again, we find ourselves at February 24. Two years ago this world lost 4 brave men, and 4 families lost a treasured member. I love and miss you every day, Schuyler. I hope that you’re in a place where you enjoy endless happiness and can look down and see us from time to time. I hope that you are with Mom and telling colorful jokes and playing pranks. I hope that you know how much we all miss you and that not a single day goes by that we don’t all think about you and wish you were here. And, I hope that you, Scott, Bubba, and Dan can all see that we will NEVER forget.

Never.

IMPERFECT

One of the blogs I regularly read posted a link to a lady, Lisa, who makes jewelry. Her website is www.lisaleonardonline.com. One of the pictures really stood out to me. It was this one:
Now, you may be thinking "Ummm, OK...imperfect...whatever". But, when I first saw that, I saw "I'm perfect".

Then I realized that it said IMPERFECT.

And that's when it hit me. Isn't it really when we take a hard look at ourselves and say "it's ok...I'm not perfect...and that's OK" that we really become perfect? Isn't it in that moment when you let go of the notions of what a "perfect" wife/mom/daughter/sister/friend SHOULD be doing and just accept that you're doing the best you can...isn't THAT when we actually become perfect?

I don't mean perfect in the never-make-a-mistake kind of way. But more the perfect version of your true self way...the here I am, take it or leave it way. I think we spend so much time worrying about what we SHOULD be doing and HOW we should be that we forget that we ARE what we ARE. You make the choices that you make and many times those choices define us. They define our values and show the outside world what is important to us as a person. And what is right for one person can be totally wrong for another.

And THAT'S OK....

Knowing that where you are and what you're doing right now is where you need to be and what you need to be doing....THAT's perfect. Accepting today is perfect.

So, look at yourself and declare yourself IMPERFECT....because you really are PERFECT!

~Lori~

Devastating genetic disorder is taking a little angel - O'Fallon Progress - bnd.com

Devastating genetic disorder is taking a little angel - O'Fallon Progress - bnd.com

READ Friday Fragments FIRST! Then please, please, please read this article!

Friday Fragments

My friend Liz does a blog post every Friday entitled "Friday Fragments". This post is just little bits and pieces of her week. Today, I'm giving it a try.

This week has been emotionally crazy. I've seen and heard things that just make me want to cry...sometimes tears of joy, and sometimes tears of sadness.

First of all, sadness.....

Tay Sachs is a disease that has affected the Rochman family. One of the members of this family, Tric, is a fellow Mom at my kids' school and we have gotten to know one another. Sadly, I didn't know much about Tay Sachs until very recently when Tric posted a link to an article done on her family and sweet Elise. You can read the article at the link below.

**Edit...I can't seem to make the link work...I will try to post it on it's own...sorry...technical difficulties!**

Reading this article really opened my eyes. The situation isn't at all what I had imagined in my mind's eye. Elise wasn't born with an obvious defect or disorder. She was born like both my kids....10 fingers, 10 toes, and appearing like a normal, healthy run-of-the-mill infant. Six months later, everything began to unfold, and their healthy child's future suddenly had a much different and fatal ending. One of the things that Elise's Mom, Kerri, says in the article completely hit my heart.

No one ever teaches you how to raise a dying child.

So, today, as Elise earned her angels wings and left her family behind, I hope that anyone reading will hug their kids a little tighter tonight, read one extra bedtime story, and thank God (or whatever you believe in) that your children are safe tonight. And, while you're at it, educate yourself on Tay Sachs by reading that incredible article, and keep the Rochman family in your thoughts. During times of tragedy and hardship, it is my experience that the people around you can lift you up and keep you moving forward. Keep them in your thoughts.....

Fragment two...(Sorry my "fragments" are so long....)

Yesterday I went to the salon for my second "Brazilian Blowout"....no, not THAT kind of Brazilian! It's a hair straightening and smoothing process! Anyhoo....the salon I go to has a few older stylists that do the "roll and set" on the older gals. The station directly across from me was one of those stations. As I sat there having my "treatment" I saw 3 different ladies come and go.

These ladies were of the generation where you go to the "beauty shop" once per week for a wash, roll, and set. Then next week you do it all over again. The hair in question was both "blue" and sparse....but the skilled stylist was well versed in the ways of the blue hair, and she could transform a sparsely covered head into quite the 'do!

Well, the final patron at the station was watching my process...I was near the end, where the stylist is doing the final blow dry and combing out my now sleek, straight blond locks. I had my head slightly down and eyes closed, yet I heard Miss Daisy say something across from me.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, only to see her moist eyes glistening. I said "I'm sorry, did you say something?", to which she replied "Yes, dear, I said you have the most beautiful hair".

At that moment, I saw my own future....50 years from now, as I near my late 80's, early 90's, my skin will be wrinkled from the experiences of life. My once thick, shiny blond locks will have been reduced to the occasional wisp of hair on my mostly-bare head. And I will sit in a salon of the future gazing at a younger patron and remembering back in the day when I had young kids and a head full of hair.

I'll recall how I didn't appreciate my thick sleek hair and how now I'd give anything to run my fingers through that hair of old and feel the silky strands cascading through my fingers.

As we locked eyes I saw the future in her eyes, and even though there were no "Enjoy it now honey" words spoken, I saw it in her eyes. I smiled at her and told her that I thought her hair was beautiful too. She chuckled and said something about how little there was of it, and I told her that I thought it was beautiful nonetheless.

And I thought in those moments after my gaze fell from hers...when I'm old and my hair starts falling out, I'm going to say "Screw it" and shave my head and buy some big colorful hats. I'll be a crazy hat wearing old lady, and I'll be happy about it!

Fragment 3....end it on a high note........

Before I start, let me just declare.......I LOVE ellipses.........I love them a lot!!!!!!!!!

OK....the high note.

Several weeks ago, Amber (my niece, who's more like my little sister, 'cause she's only 9 years younger than me, and that's how we roll in my family), called me and said she was pretty sure she was pregnant. This, in case anyone is wondering, is a GREAT piece of news. Amber and her husband Brandon have been trying to have another baby for a while now. Amber's brother, Schuyler, was killed in Afghanistan almost 2 years ago. His loss left a huge hole in our family. A new baby would in NO way, shape, or form take his place, but it would be a bright spot and something to rejoice over. We need a bright spot.

So, yesterday I was so happy when she called and said she had had an ultrasound and everything looked fine and she was ready to let the news out. Woo Hoo! I totally suck at keeping a secret, so I was SO glad that I could let it out!

So, tears of joy are being shed for the new baby coming to our family. Amber and Brandon will welcome this new bundle of joy in mid-September. Or, if their boys' births are any indication, late August....she went early with both Logan and Cole. Now, I'd be lying if I said we're not wishing for a girl, 'cause obviously we are, but if she has another boy, we'll all love him too! I can't wait for the "gender confirming" ultrasound because once we have that...well, let the shopping begin, folks!

Two boys will become big brothers and everyone will have a joyful occasion to focus on, instead of sadness. We will gather for a happy occasion. Since 2/2009 most, if not all, of the gatherings have been for a sad occasion, or reflecting on one of those sad occasions. This child will never get to know his/her Uncle Schuyler or Great Grandma Patch, but you can bet this child will have some "Wild Angels" watching over!

Now, go out there and LIVE the weekend....have fun, laugh a lot, and love.....always love.

...and there she goes...

It seems as if 2010 just started and then here we are...done with yet another year. Twelve months...another calendar down....another year gone.

So like many others I have been reflecting a bit on what 2010 meant to me and what I'd like to do differently in 2011. And as such, this post was born.....

The year of 2010 saw much change in not only my physical health, but my emotional health as well. I lost 65 pounds and with those pounds, an immeasurable amount of emotional baggage. I worked through issues from the deaths of Schuyler and my Mom. I discovered that I have more inner strength than I had ever imagined. I developed a closer relationship to many members in my family, especially my niece and my Dad. The loss of so much shifted my perspective on things and helped me to see what things are truly important in my life.

One thing that I have realized is that a "HAPPY" life doesn't mean a life without sadness. I have a "HAPPY" life. I really do. I am happy with where my life has taken me, even if some of those trips have been dark, sad days that I never want to re-live. Those sad times and the happy times have shaped me to who I am today. And I am happy with that person. I see people who talk about the mundane "pains" of their day and it makes me sad. They stress out at the silliest of things. I hate that all I can think of is that if they knew TRUE SADNESS and SORROW then these small things would not be such an inconvenience in their life. Unfortunately it is a lesson that will probably have to be hard learned.

The new year bring the promise of many things for different people, but for me, the new year means much of the same....

...fun times spent with the people I love the most, my family and dear friends
...focus on my physical and emotional health
...energy spent on meaningful things, instead of worrying about stuff that worrying won't change

Yeah, I have specific 2011 goals (resolutions of sorts, you might say) but those I tend to keep more to myself until I have honed the details.

I hope that 2011 is a year where you can gain perspective on the things that are really important in your own life and find a place where you are honestly at peace with who you are.

Happy New Year ~
~Lori~

Happy...

Several times over the past few months I have found myself teary eyed over the strangest things. These weren't times when one would expect to get teary eyed, like someone mentioning my Mom or Schuyler, or even seeing a soldier on the street.

These were times when I was, quite honestly, overcome with happiness. And as strange as it seems, it's been happening more and more. I wonder if maybe going through such a dark and sad place and knowing what that feels like makes the moments of sheer bliss even more dramatic, but nevertheless, I've been crying in public.

The most recent time was Sunday as we sat in the darkened theater watching the live production of The Nutcracker ballet. I looked to my right and saw Drake watching intently...then I looked to my left and saw Avery...completely mesmerized and fascinated at the activity on the stage.

...and my eyes started filling up...

So many seemingly ordinary moments, but yet, so very significant. I'm so thankful that I have these beautiful children, eventhough at times I want to hang them from their toes! I'm so thankful that I have a supportive and understanding husband who always gives me the leeway that I need, but knows when I need him to reel things in and have some family time. I'm thankful for our life...I know it's so-not-politically-correct to be thankful for the STUFF, but I am. I'm thankful that we've been able to work hard and have the home that we have, the wonderful neighbors and friends that we have, and the opportunities that our work has provided to us. Granted, I also think that if we were living somewhere else I would be happy as well, but I'm thankful that life has led us right here....right now.

There's your fair warning...if you see me on the street and see me dabbing at my eyes, I very well may not be crying tears of sadness, but tears of joy, because I am HAPPY....right here....right now.

Soup in a jar!

I posted on Facebook about my "Soups in a Jar" gifts that I had done. We tested both recipes and are PLEASED with the yummy results. People asked, so I am sharing the recipes.












Here is the recipe for the JAR for Italian Tomato and Pasta Soup. The recipe card that you attach to the jar for preparation is after!




The recipe that you attach to the jar is:

1 jar Italian Tomato and Pasta Soup Mix
5 cups water
1 can (28) oz. diced tomatoes
1/2 package (10 oz.) frozen chopped spinach, thawed
4-6 slices crisp-cooked bacon, crumbled

1. Remove cheese packet from jar; set aside.

2. Combine water and remaining contents of jar into sauce pan. Bring to a boil and boil 10-12 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, spinach, and bacon. Reduce heat and simmer 10-12 minutes or until pasta is tender. Serve with Parmesan cheese.


Makes 4-5 servings

For a variation, use fresh spinach. I didn't use the bacon, and it was still awesome! As you can see, I also used Penne pasta, and it was great!
















The finished product!

Jar #2! Home-Style Chicken and Rice Soup Mix:




For the JAR:











The recipe that you attach TO the jar:




1 jar Home-Style Chicken & Rice Soup Mix
6-7 cups water
1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce
2 cups cubed cooked chicken
salt and pepper

1. Combine contents of jar, water and tomato sauce in Dutch oven. Bring to a boil over high heat. Cover; reduce heat and simmer 1 hour or until rice is tender.

2. Stir in chicken. Cook over low heat 10-15 minutes or until chicken is heated through. Remove and discard bay leaf. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Makes 10 - 12 servings.


My only caution on the Chicken and Rice Soup...it uses a PINT jar instead of a QUART jar! I had my quart jars all lined up and was tossing ingredients in like a mad woman and then when I finished I couldn't figure out why the chicken and rice soup jars were not full, and the other was was to the top. DUH...pint jar, blondie! So, I had to get some pint jars and transfer, and it's all good.





Have fun...like I said, we tried both soups and I was really impressed at the flavor with both of them. Jeff liked the chicken and rice soup a lot. He isn't a big fan of pasta or spinach, so he didn't even taste that one, but I REALLY liked it!

Favorite Things

I figured if Oprah can have her "Favorite Things" then why can't I? Well, for one, me naming a Favorite Thing won't cause the stock to jump or thousands of people to run out and buy it, but still....


Here are a few of my favorite things this holiday season!


1. Coffee Mugs





I found these re-usable travel coffee mugs at Wal-Mart for $5. Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking "Big Deal....it's a coffee mug". But, seriously folks, I LOVE THESE! The seal in them is such that you don't end up spilling. The seal is just awesome. That's really all I can say. LOVE LOVE LOVE these! I went back, bought a bunch more for gifts and a few more for me!














2. Christmas light card holder



A wonderful friend made this for me after I commented on loving it after seeing it on her daughter-in-law's blog. (did you follow that...) The felt Christmas light bulbs have a clothes pin on the back. You hang your Christmas cards by attaching the clothes pin to the jute twine that you have strung from point to point. Sadly, I am stalking the mailman daily so that I can get more cards to hang on my card holder! I absolutely LOVE it! Such a creative thing, and Susan didn't scrimp when she made this baby. Each bulb is sewn to a green back, and it's sewn in the color thread that corresponds to the Christmas bulb. She added her own touch of silver glitter paint as an accent, which just makes my eyes twinkle! Did I mention that I LOVE this card holder? Thank you Susan....I am smitten!

3. Cookie Exchanges. I have a cookie exchange planned for Tuesday, so I have no photo to represent this favorite thing, but I can tell you all about it. If you host a cookie exchange you pick the amount of cookies and then coordinate to make sure all guests are bringing a different cookie. So, each guest brings say 3 or 4 dozen of the SAME type of cookie. Everyone mixes and mingles and you take all of the cookies brought and divide them up into plates. Each guest then is able to take home a plate with the 3 (or 4) dozen cookies, but they cookies are assorted. Everyone goes home with a beautiful plate of Christmas cookie goodness! I have added a couple of twists to mine this year. First of all, I have asked all guests to e-mail me the recipe for their cookie. I will put those recipes into Word and then print off a mini cookie book with all recipes for everyone that attends. Then, since the exchange is the week of Christmas and all the kids are home from school, I made this a "Mom's Cookie Exchange" and hired my very favorite babysitter in the entire world to come and supervise all of the kids in the basement while the Moms are upstairs! I have printed off coloring and activity pages from the Internet and bought a few inexpensive craft kits for the kids to do. The toy room is ready for lots of fun! The kids will have their own "party" downstairs while us Moms party upstairs! I am hoping this is a huge success and that it will become a "revised" tradition for our friends and family.

I was going to close this post, but just remembered that I have some new website newsletters that I want to share with you.

First of all, Parent's Magazine has their "100 Days of Holidays". I think I got my first one in 2010 around September 24th. I never have time to look through them immediately, so I created a "Holiday Ideas" folder in my e-mail in-box and drop them all in there. Then, when I need a craft, recipe, or decorating idea, I go to that folder and ALWAYS find something awesome! To sign up, go to www.parents.com and find the "100 Days of Holidays" box and click "Sign Up".

My next web newsletter is a new discovery. A Pre-K Mom told me about it and I've gotten some GREAT deals. The newsletter itself is called The Screaming Penny. You can sign up at www.pinchingyourpennies.com . Some days the deals they have are better than others, but I have bought 2 Christmas gifts on there that I would've never found had I not gotten the newsletter. Today, for example, I was able to pick up the ENTIRE Seinfeld series on DVD for

under $90, shipped. Jeff and I love watching those Seinfeld episodes, so I thought that might really be something fun to get him as a surprise. (but if he actually reads this blog, which I totally doubt, then the jig is up Momma!) This wasn't on my gift giving list, but at that price, I know it's something he'll like so I got it. The list price is $250.95. I paid $84.99 which was listed as 66% off.

That's not ALL of my favorite things, but for now it's enough. I hope you enjoy time with your families and friends this holiday season. Don't stress out...enjoy the time with people you love!

Lori

PS...I don't have blog sponsors or anything, so please don't think that I'm mentioning these products or services in exchange for sponsorship!

Being Thankful

There is just so much to be thankful for in my life that I hate to even start trying to make a list. I mean, there's the biggies, like health, a loving husband, my family, a home, etc. And then there's simple, obvious stuff that we take for granted, right, like electricity and music on the radio, etc.

So that leaves me kinda unsure of where to start. I guess I'll just make a list, and you must know this list is so totally non-inclusive. If something is absent from the list, but present in my life, please don't think this list is some declaration of my unthankfulness of said item!

Here goes.....I am thankful FOR:

• my husband, Jeff
• my kids, Drake and Avery
• my brothers, their spouses and children
• my niece (little sister) Amber...she gets a line of her own
• my Dad and the way our relationship has evolved since my Mom died
• my girlfriends
• my neighborhood...Spring Arbor PRIVATE baby!
• my home and my yard
• my swagger wagon
• my health
• my commitment to a healthier me, and the results that I've seen thus far
• compliments (very closely related to above item!)
• jeans that fit....I mean REALLY fit
• technology...I LOVE me some technology kids
• being able to cook a good meal
• compliments (very closely related to above item!)
• being able to help others
• blogging and readers who leave comments about my blog
• photographs
• comfort and stability
• chaos and insanity
• a warm house and a warm bed
• a fridge full of food in the house and another one full of booze in the garage
• feeling comfortable enough with who I am to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say
• being able to talk to a friend and vent or complain and feel better when I'm done
• snuggling with my kids
• our new dog, Polly
• my cell phone...means my family can reach me anytime, anywhere if they need me
• old friends that have been there throughout the years
• new friends that are so incredible you forget they haven't been around for years
• sarcasm
• comedy
• live theater
• wine
• my treadmill
• honest people
• perspective...although, as in most life lessons, perspective was one gained the hard way, but that lesson has given me such clarity that I am happy to have learned it this early in my life
• my life
• the end of this list

Again, while not all encompassing of the things I'm thankful for, that list represents the top-of-mind-awareness that I could type out in those few minutes. I guess the easiest way to describe it is simply, I am thankful.

I sincerely hope that anyone reading this has a wonderful Thanksgiving, surrounded by good food, great friends, and much laughter.

Enjoy your day....

Be Thankful.....I am......

Happy Birthday, Mom...wherever you are...

Today should be my Mom's 78th birthday. I should've called her today and explained that I'm saving her gift to give her in person when her and Dad come next week for Christmas, only to rush out the day of their arrival to get something...I SHOULD have, but unfortunately, I can't do that any longer.

My Mom died on July 4, 2009, so this is the second time that her birthday has come and no such phone call was made. No last minute flowers were ordered...no "sorry your card is a little late"...no "we have appointments at the spa for next week"...nothing.

Last year I was really, really sad on this day. Before anyone misinterprets, please know that today was difficult, and filled with moments of sadness, but today was not like last year. Last year I was sucked down in a hole of depression and sadness that I was unsure if I would ever come out of. Last year was simply bad.

But, this year is better....better than I would have dared imagine it could be. This year is more reflective than despairing. This year I can focus on all of the wonderful things, and how I appreciate them instead of yearning for nothing more than to have those things back. I understand now that the pain is part of the journey, and sometimes without the pain you are unable to see the beauty in the every day.

Losing so much has helped me see that beauty in every day.

So today, as every day, I have thought much of my Mom. I find myself looking at my kids and thinking how much she would get a kick out of them at this stage, and yet at the same time, thankful that she was able to see what she saw of their lives.

I learned so much from her...and so many of those traits that drove me nuts are the traits I see coming out in my own personality, and suddenly they're not so irritating! She taught (by example, of course) that making people feel welcome and warm in your home is such a wonderful gift to give your friends. I love having people over, and find that I am honestly happiest when the house is full and the party is in full swing...I look around and see smiles, hear laughs, and that is a feeling of complete joy that I know she felt on many an occasion.

She is missed by so many, and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. As a teenager I swore to NEVER be like her, and now, as an adult, I hope that some day my own children look back at me as their Mom and have similar feelings as I do for mine...her death left a void in my life that can never be filled, but her presence in my life was a gift that can never be taken away from me.

Happy Birthday Mom...I love you.

A Time To Be Thankful

November is here...I'm pretty sure it creeped up on me when I was busy doing other things. Weren't we just loading up the wagon and heading to the beach a few days ago? Wow...anyway...Fall is here.

November is many things, but it is the month of Thanksgiving.

Thanks Giving

Giving Thanks

So, thinking about this month got me to this post...since this is a time to give thanks, my blog this month will be focused on those things that I am thankful for. Here I will Give Thanks to the things that I am grateful for.

First, I have to say I am thankful for my family and friends. I can't just talk about family or friends, independent from each other. See, to me, many of my friends are like family, so these terms go hand-in-hand.

My "household" family would be Jeff, Drake, Avery, and our new pup Polly...and for them, I am extremely thankful.

Jeff and I have been married for 15 years, and even though I'm way too bitchy at times he loves me. Many times I reflect back on a day and think of all the times I could've been a little nicer. I hope that after being together for this long he never doubts that I would do anything for him, and I consider our marriage a true partnership in which we each support the other (and all of our crazy ideas) totally and completely.

My kids make my life worth living. They drive me nuts at times, but I love them more and more each day. I love seeing them grow and learn new things. I love seeing their relationship as brother and sister develop. They are so sweet and wonderful, even when they're testing my patience to the n'th degree! I can't imagine my life without them.

Polly is such a sweet dog, and having her in the house reminds me how much we all loved Albus, and of all the gifts he gave to us. Polly has quickly endeared herself to the entire household.

I am thankful for my awesome dad, Dan, and for all of the amazing things he's taught me over the years. After my Mom died, Jeff predicted that Dad and I would become even closer, which, at the time, seemed impossible to me. But, as is often true, Jeff's prediction was correct, and my Dad and I have an even stronger relationship now than before my Mom died. I hope she is able to look down on us and smile that we're all sticking together and getting through this as a family.

I'm thankful for my brothers: Dave, Jeff, and John. Regardless of the age gap they've always been awesome brothers and friends. I love them dearly.

I'm thankful for all those additional family members...nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, etc. Each of them have played a special part in who I am today, and I treasure the friendship that has grown over the years.

Now, on to my friends...this is more difficult to explain than the family! I have such GREAT friends. My close girlfriends are a treasure worth more than the Crown Jewels. These gals have been there for me through some really rough times and I appreciate their love and friendship more than anyone can imagine. The only way I can ever repay them is simply by being a good friend back. I strive to be that friend every day. Some of these friends I have known since grade school, while some are new to my life in the past few years. Regardless of the timeline, they all have made a mark on my heart. Knowing that you can call up a girlfriend and she's got your back is one of the greatest gifts we can have. There's simply NOTHING like a great girlfriend!

So, that's it for today...I'm showing my thanks for my friends and family. Had I REALLY expressed my feelings...well, the post would be too long! I could list countless examples of how these people have enriched my life, but you'll just have to take my word for it...my friends and family are simply awesome and I'm so very thankful to have them in my life.

Don't Ask....Don't Tell

I'm a big supporter of "Don't Ask....Don't Tell". Really....I am....but the version I believe in has a little spin to it.

My version of "Don't Ask....Don't Tell" is this. I'm not going to ask you if you hate someone because of their sexual orientation, and you had better not tell me that you do, 'cause if you do....well, you're outta my troop.

Seriously. I find it really sad that right now, in 2010, there are people STILL being discriminated against for being gay. REALLY? REALLY? We're hating...still? Haven't we seen that there is no room for hating one another?

I have a lot of friends and a large family. And I love 'em all. I really do...I'm from one of those "Let's hug it out, bitch" families...we're all out there with our feelings for each other. And so, I am that kind of friend (or at least I hope I am!). If I have a friend in need, I'm there. And, thankfully, I have friends that treat me the same way. (Do unto others as you'd have done to you....) And guess what? Some of those friends and family are gay and some are lesbian.

And you know what else? It doesn't matter to me at ALL who my friends and/or family sleep with, marry, live with, date, etc. Really...it doesn't. All I care about is that my friends and family (gay, straight, or somewhere in the middle) are HAPPY. I want them to be HAPPY. That's it.

I love my gay brother and his partner of over 30 years, but I do worry about them. I worry that hate will touch them in some way and they'll think that everyone is like that. I hate haters.

I love my gay cousins, I love my gay friends....male, female, doesn't matter to me. I love 'em all. I love them if they're flaming gay or butch. 'Cause I don't care who you're sleeping with...this is NOT a factor in the qualities that make us friends. I love them because they bring something to my life, just like the straight friends and family that I also love!

Hating someone in the name of Christianity is just WRONG. Whatever happened to "God loves all of His children"? Or was it supposed to read "God loves all of His children....except the gay ones"??? So please, please, please do not tell me that you hate homosexuals in the name of Christianity. Don't Ask....Don't Tell. 'Cause if you tell me that, I'm done with you.

My views are intolerant, which is kinda hypocritical, given the post, right? Well, that's fine with me. I am intolerant of hate, and I'm intolerant of kids being bullied because they're gay....bullied to the point that they take their own lives. What's wrong with us?

So there you have it. I love my friends...all of them. But, I have no room in my life for haters, so if you fall into that category, I promise that I Won't Ask...if you promise you Won't Tell, because if you tell, I'm done.