Sometimes when the thoughts are swirling around my head in mad chaos, the only way I can make sense of them is to type. So here I go.
Last evening, my dear friend Mickey lost her mom Mary to cancer. Mary was cool. She was just one of those Moms that you meet and secretly wish you had grown up in her house, if only for a short while. I wouldn't have traded my own childhood for all the tea in China, but you just knew that even a week in that house would've given you memories that would last a life time.
Like I said, Mary was cool. Even in typing that it just makes me smile. She was fun to be around. I loved it that she would attend our "Girls Weekend" and get right in there, drinking, eating, laughing, and sharing funny stories with the rest of us. It never failed...we could get her telling stories about any (and sometimes all) of her 6 kids. I really loved those stories...not just the stories, but the WAY she told them. I could just see these mischievious little stinkers getting into all of these crazy predicaments. I loved it when she told those stories.
There is no doubt in my mind...the world was a better place for having her here, and today the world is a bit sadder at her absence. But she left her mark on the world, and the awesome parts of her live on in her grown children.
Yesterday as I thought about Mickey and Mary and what their family was going through, I kept flashing back to the day my own Mom died. Losing your Mom is a sad, sad day indeed. A day that you can never forget, and a day that your entire world changes. I feel like we're way too young to be women without Moms. And sadly, more and more friends are joining those ranks. You often hear people comment that we're "getting to THAT age"...sometimes it seems applicable, but I don't feel like you're ever THAT age to be ready to lose your parent, especially your Mom.
I think as women we go through this strange thing, where even when we're the adult, there's still someone higher on the pecking order...your Mom. You know that you can ask for advice (even if half the time you ignore it) or always fall back on "well, Mom said....". I have participated in adulthood for many years now. I received 2 college degrees....got married at 23....had a couple of kids....bought and sold a couple of houses....and even started retirement accounts and bought life insurance. But nothing, and I really mean nothing, makes you feel like a full fledged adult like losing your Mom.
...and I don't mean that in a good way...
I'd much rather have Joan at the top of the ladder, ready to look down and give an opinion or offer a hand. But, she's gone, and so now I must truly be the adult.
So, to Mary I say, Thank You....I'm so glad our paths in life happened to cross and that I got to know you. You were cool (I'm smiling again). You were fun. You were hilarious. And most of all, you were a great wife, mother, grandmother and role model for those of us that knew you. I promise to help Mickey out as much as I can and I will tell Katrina and Clay funny stories about you. I won't keep those stories to myself, but will share them, because even though death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, love leaves memories that no one can steal. You will live on in those memories.
Godspeed, Mary...you were a great one.